First let me start by saying I am a good chemist ergo I am a good cook. Overtime I have learned, both in the lab and in the kitchen, when it is important to strictly follow a recipe and when you can be more creative. But these skills did not necessarily come naturally and thankfully I have a husband with a good appetite and strong stomach.
Two events during the dating phase of our relationship gave me the confidence to try anything and everything thereafter. First, my sophomore year I had an apartment with gas stove which I never had experienced before plus I was a child of the microwave and had never in my life cooked bacon on the stove. The outcome of this is that I severely burnt the bacon thereafter and forever more referred to as Bristow’s Burnt Bacon. The second occasion was after our engagement when I made an herb escalloped potato dish which upon one bite I decided was not good but for some reason Brad enjoyed and ate tons of - only to be up sick the rest of the night. If a man stays with you after you have given him food poisoning he is with you for life. My first Thanksgiving attempt with Brad was a breeze compared to these previous episodes and I successfully did turkey, gravy, homemade dressing with fresh herbs, creamed potatoes, the whole kit and caboodle all on my own with decent timing. So it was with extreme confidence that I entered my sister’s home to assist with her first attempt at the full Thanksgiving meal experience.
It all started extremely well. We managed to put our sibling rivalries aside to work together with me being careful to remember that it was not my kitchen and my sister actually listening to her older and wiser sister pertaining to planning and execution. There was a moment when we were discussing what should be started when and planning out what item would be served in which of her dishes that it occurred to me that we were reenacting the scene I had watched year after year between my mom and her sister as they tried to determine what needed to be done when and how it was going to be presented.
But like many family events with more than one chef in the kitchen things soon begin to fall apart. But it isn’t the story you expect to hear. We did not argue. No one tried to take over. And in the end no food was totally destroyed or deemed inedible. Where our story gets interesting is that we both made the critical mistake of thinking I was an expert in all things and that my sister should follow all my advice.
I think it began with the melting of her meat thermometer. In my kitchen I have an oven proof meat thermometer and I am a firm believer in this as the means of determining when a turkey is done enough to be safe to eat yet still moist and tender. I also adhere to the leave it alone method, as in don’t keep opening the door to baste, etc. So when my sister asked “Is it okay to leave the thermometer in the turkey as it cooks?” I said “Absolutely yes!” and we stuck it in and forgot about. It was only when an hour or more later that we first checked on the small turkey breast that we found my sister did not have an oven proof thermometer as evidence by the melted remains of a dial attached to the probe. Oops. To the best of our knowledge no toxic acrylic ever made it to the surface of the turkey – that’s my story and I am sticking to it.
Next came the instruction on how to make the sweet potato casserole topped with marshmallows. As I am encouraging my sister to load the top of the casserole with almost an entire bag of mini marshmallows she does pause and ask “Are you sure this isn’t too many?” and I respond “This is exactly how much mom uses”. So 30 minutes later we open the oven to find that the marshmallows have greatly expanded and at least half of them are now sticking to the floor of her oven beginning to char. Oops. Well that is easily fixable just be sure to clean your oven after we leave and don’t worry the flames will die down after it is all burned out.
Even through all of this mess and destruction my sister kept her cool. Yes, she even remained calm when after all is said and done and we are getting ready to serve dinner and I manage to kick over my nearly full wine glass which is sitting on the floor next to the couch, breaking one of her new glasses and staining her carpet with red wine. Oops. I have never apologized to my sister so much in my entire life but she was perfectly fine with it all. And really I can see why – after all, big sister has at this stage provided multiple examples of how she is not an expert and certainly not perfect and is now groveling for forgiveness. And it provided her with a wonderful tale to share to convey in a loving manner my numerous shortcomings and best of all – DAD was there to witness everything.
I am glad to have this memory of my sister to share for this holiday. She may not be with us anymore but wherever she is, she is safe in the knowledge that at my house Brad will be fixing lasagna while I am banned from the kitchen.
Wishing you and yours a wonderful Thanksgiving no matter how you choose to celebrate it.
